


Failure to Launch

by sgamadison



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 13:33:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/381872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgamadison/pseuds/sgamadison
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe I think it's rude to come in someone's mouth."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failure to Launch

He was getting close. He could feel that delicious pull between increasing tension begging for release and the feeling that he couldn’t take another second of sensation without coming to pieces. It was always a toss-up between giving in completely to the experience or twisting away before he was totally wrecked.

With a small sense of regret, he reached down and tugged at Rodney’s shoulder. Rodney had settled in for the long haul this time, making sure that he could comfortably retain his position as he gave John ‘the blowjob of his life’. John didn’t mind Rodney’s attention to detail—in fact, he secretly loved it when Rodney made it clear from the onset that he intended to take his time. 

It didn’t hurt that Rodney was so good with his mouth. _Like there’d ever been any doubt._ Still, it had been delightful in those early days to discover that Rodney was just as clever with his tongue as he was with ideas or words. Not that they’d lingered over sex back then. No, when they first started doing this, it was all adrenaline-driven: scraped and dirty hands pulling at clothes to find the warm skin underneath, mouths swallowing words of anger to leave behind bruising kisses. They’d channeled the leftover energy of surviving extreme events into sex that was almost brutal in its intensity—more like a fight between friends than an act of love.

He’d been able to justify it back then. _Just blowing off steam._ Just doing what was necessary to get through the day, when the day had tried to kill you again. Rodney had agreed—especially, as he’d pointed out, since most of the usual coping mechanisms, like ice cream and booze, were in limited quantity.

“Which am I?” John had jokingly asked.

“You’re the booze,” Rodney had answered, in a moment of utter sincerity. “Goes down smooth, but with a kick that catches you off-guard. A feel-good buzz that turns into depression, if you’re not careful. Addictive. Dangerous in excessive quantities. Bad for you.”

It had been the first indication that maybe this thing he had with Rodney wasn’t such a good idea—for either of them.

He couldn’t stop though. Had he been a different kind of guy, he might have pointed out that the addiction worked both ways. But he wasn’t, so he didn’t. What he did was pretend not to notice when the sex became less about a hard crash against a wall, or a quick and dirty fuck in a dark, abandoned room, and more about Rodney being comfortable and taking his time.

John had gone along with it, because, well, Rodney was a good fuck when things were hot and heated between them, but damn, Rodney could do slow and methodical all night long. It wasn’t like a relationship or anything.

John always reached a point during a blowjob where he couldn’t take it any more, and like now, he pulled Rodney up.

Rodney was resistant to the tugging at first, but he finally lifted his head, allowing John’s cock to slide out of his mouth with a soft slurp of sound. His lips were swollen from sucking on John—he’d spent the last twenty minutes or so dedicating himself to the oral worship of John’s cock. He still held on to John’s shaft, which bobbed a little at being released from Rodney’s warm mouth. John missed the contact almost immediately, but because it was what he always did, he began to pull Rodney up alongside of him. There was nothing he wanted more right now than to strip Rodney naked and fuck him senseless. 

Rodney knew this, knew this was how things usually went at this point in the proceedings, but this time he resisted being redirected. The fading yellow light of the afternoon sun slanted in through the curtains of his room, catching the interior of his eyes and lighting them up the way the sun lit a gray-blue wave just as it crested and broke. John thought he’d never seen eyes so blue and he was smugly pleased at the glazed-over look within them—as though Rodney were stoned or something.

He often looked that way when he’d been sucking John. As though there was no greater personal satisfaction than to close his lips around John’s cock, to hollow out his cheeks as he sucked, to slick John’s dick with saliva so that his mouth could slide up and down at will. Frequently, when John would think he couldn’t take any more without exploding, Rodney would slyly change gears, nuzzling John’s balls with his nose, taking them carefully into his mouth, lipping and pulling at the thin skin over them before sucking them thoroughly.

John gave a little shudder just thinking about it. He tugged at Rodney’s shoulder again.

Rodney’s eyes seemed to clear and narrow their focus. “You know, I really don’t get you sometimes.”

John felt his face twist into the expression he usually made when the conversation threatened to turn into a discussion of his _feelings._ “What’s there to get? Get your ass up here and turn over so I can fuck you.”

John was lying on his back, propped up with a pillow against the headboard. He had his pants and boxers pulled down to his knees; Rodney was still dressed, though they’d both kicked off their boots before getting into bed. They would have to shift and shed some clothes before John could do what he loved best, namely fuck Rodney into the middle of next week. There was something about clutching Rodney’s hips with both hands as he pounded into him, the sound of Rodney’s soft cries beneath him, and the smell of sweat on Rodney’s skin—he couldn’t explain it. There was nothing so satisfying as to release himself into Rodney’s body and then collapse over his back, letting the feel of Rodney underneath him be all the reality he needed for just a few moments.

Rodney was down by John’s hips, lying half-draped across John’s thighs, so he could turn his head and suck cock with minimal strain on his back, or so he said. Not that he’d stay that way very long; giving a blowjob was a dynamic process for Rodney, as he often changed position to grant him better access to John’s cock, or his balls, or that strip of skin between them and John’s ass. He didn’t change position now, however. Instead, he steadied John’s cock in his hand and closed his mouth over the end again, bobbing his head slightly a few times before pulling off to speak. “In all the time I’ve known you,” he began, only to pause and slightly shake his head. “In all the time we’ve been… having sex, for want of a more precise definition, you’ve never come from a blowjob. Why is that?”

“Seriously?” John was annoyed. “You’re going to stop in the middle of sex to ask me that?”

“Who said anything about stopping?” Rodney asked in a superior tone, as he studied John’s cock and applied another long swipe of his tongue. “I’m just curious, that’s all.” He punctuated his words by briefly applying suction to John’s cock head.

John couldn’t help it; he stretched back into the headboard of the bed, relaxing when Rodney pulled off again.

“I mean, everyone likes blowjobs, right? Only not once have you ever come when I gave you one. You always stop me and move on to something else. Seems to me what we have here is a failure to launch.”

“A what?” John didn’t realize his voice had dropped into what Rodney referred to as his ‘deadly register’ until Rodney began to backpedal.

“Okay, maybe that was an unfortunate turn of phrase, because I’ve never known _that_ to happen with you, though I suppose it could because it happens to everyone now and then, right? And that’s okay, really, it’s no big deal. Only that wasn’t what I meant in the first place.” Rodney must have felt John shift underneath of him, because he quickly applied his mouth to John’s cock once more.

John lay rigid and unyielding, while Rodney tried to work his magic with his mouth. Finally, he pulled off again, flexing his jaw as though it ached before speaking. “I don’t mean FTL in the Viagra sense of the word, just that for someone who seems to enjoy getting blown, you never come, so it makes a guy wonder, you know?”

John suddenly saw the problem and relaxed a fraction. “You’re doing everything right, okay? No one’s ever blown me like you. This isn’t about your _technique._ ”

“Well, then what is it about?” Rodney looked serious, which was hard to do when his short hair was mussed up—John had obviously had his hands in it at some point—and his lips were pink and shiny. “If I was doing it right, you’d come like a shot. You never seem to have a problem coming when you fuck me. Though, now that I think of it, you don’t ever seem to want me to make you feel good.”

“You make me feel good, Rodney.” How could he explain any better than the fact that he was here?

“I’ve tried to figure out what you really like, I really have. I mean, I’m a scientist, after all, it should be a simple matter of observation and documentation, followed by the formulation of a theorem and testing to prove it.” Rodney continued on thoughtfully, as though John hadn’t spoken. “You’re a quiet bastard though, and you always seem to want to shift gears right when I think you’re about to go off like a rocket. You either have more self-control than anyone I’ve ever met, or more _self-denial_.”

“I’m not one of your science experiments, McKay.” John was on the verge of pushing Rodney off of him.

Rodney picked up on that right away. He quickly took John’s cock in his mouth and sucked down hard, sliding his fingers alongside the shaft into his mouth until he could wet them too. Holding on to John with just his mouth, he used his fingers to push down in a wet trail toward John’s ass. 

John let his head thump back against the wall.

Rodney took hold of John with his hand again, so he could speak. “Uh-oh, Use of the word McKay. A bad sign when we’re in the middle of sex. A sign that I’ve run into the Great Wall of Sheppard and a warning shot has just been fired.” Even now, his fingers could not be still and he gently, rhythmically squeezed John’s dick. “I can’t help it if I look upon you as an experiment. That’s the way my brain works. Besides, I think you’re one of the most deceptively complicated puzzles that I’ve even known and it’s going to take me a lifetime to solve you.”

John didn’t want to think about what those words implied. _What about Katie?_ He wanted to shout. _What about Jennifer?_

Instead, he went for misdirection.

“Maybe,” John said, pausing as he struggled for the right thing to say. “Maybe I think it’s rude to come in someone’s mouth.”

“You can’t be serious.” Rodney opened his eyes very wide at first before half closing them again as he contemplated John’s cock. It was flushed with Rodney’s attention to it, and as John watched, Rodney rubbed his lips up and down the shaft. John’s cock, traitor that it was, lifted and reached for more contact.

“You think it’s rude…” Rodney repeated, letting his sentence trail away so that he could thrust his tongue rapidly against the underside of John’s cock a few times. When he pulled off, a thin trail of saliva briefly connected his mouth to the firm head. “That’s the best part of blowing someone. To push up against them, to take them in as far as you can go, to feel them fill your mouth, while the smell of their sex is right there in your nose. To feel that hard flesh swell even further when you know they’re getting close, and then that warm release right there in your mouth…”

John closed his hand over Rodney’s on his cock, clamping down hard. 

“Is that the secret?” Rodney looked up with John, delight flashing over his features. “I just have to talk to you? Challenging while giving a blowjob, but I believe I’m up to it.”

John felt a little rush of affection for Rodney, the kind that often came upon him unawares. He hoped it didn’t show. He suspected, from Rodney’s subtle change in expression to one of pleased embarrassment, that maybe it did.

“Get up.” John made it sound like an order because he knew that Rodney often got off on that.

Rodney sighed and pushed himself up off John’s legs, leaning back on one hand so he could watch John as he swung out of the bed. “Just once,” Rodney complained, “I wish that you would let me… Hey! You’re undressing.” Rodney sat up alertly.

“Hey,” John mimicked. “How very observant of you.”

“Yeah, well, that’s why they pay me the big bucks. No, seriously, as a consultant, I probably get paid a shit-load more than you do, which is really not fair, considering that we’re in roughly the same amount of danger all the time.”

“You feeling okay?” John resisted the urge to fold up his clothing neatly, letting it drop to the floor instead. “Normally this would be the point at which you’d tell me how valuable you were to the expedition and worth every penny of your bloated paycheck.”

“Consider me distracted by the sight of you in all your naked glory.” Rodney’s tone was dry, but when John shot him a glance, Rodney was looking at him with a kind of hunger in his eyes. Feeling a little self-conscious as he did so, John laid back down on the bed beside him.

“You’re not taking your socks off?” Rodney eyed him askance.

“My feet are cold.” 

“You’re _always cold._ The day you show up in hell, you’re going to be asking Lucifer if he can turn up the heat a little.”

John sighed and lifted each foot into reach, so that he could pull off his socks, ball them up, and toss them onto the floor. 

“Have at it,” he said as he lay back down on the bed, flipping his palms toward the ceiling and closing his eyes. “It’s all yours.”

He opened his eyes a few seconds later when there failed to be any action on Rodney’s part. Rodney was frowning intently at him.

“McKay? I’m waiting.”

“Be quiet, I’m thinking.”

“Thinking? What’s there to think about? You wanted me to lie still and let you have your way with me, that’s what I’m doing.” His cock drooped a little as he spoke—this wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind.

Rodney snapped his fingers. He sat back on his heels and shook a finger at John. “That’s just it, I don’t want you to lie there like you’re taking one for your country. I want you to enjoy this, John.”

Rodney didn’t say his name often, but it gave John a little thrill every time he did. He remembered vividly the first time Rodney had called him by name, that horrific jumper ride back from the Lagrange point satellite and the disastrous mission to the planet there. They’d flown the entire fifteen hours home in virtual silence, save for the occasional question ( _Are you going to be able to fly with your arm bleeding like that? Oh my god, is that a gunshot wound? That’s it, I’m flying._ ) or comment ( _I’m heading to the head. I mean, I’m going to… Oh, never mind, you know what I mean._ ).

When they’d finally landed in Atlantis, the two of them had stood side by side in the rear compartment of the jumper, looking down on the two bodies of their colleagues. Rodney had turned to him suddenly and swept him into a ribcracking hug, which had hurt because his ribs _were_ cracked, and he’d grunted and winced. Rodney had immediately let go and begun to babble, apologizing profusely for inadvertently hurting him.

“I’m so sorry, John.” Rodney had said his given name without fanfare, the intensity of his emotions making him oblivious to the change in status. “I’m just so glad it’s not _you_.”

John had known what he’d meant, even though it was hours (and several beers) later when he’d discovered that it was Gaul’s suicide that freed Rodney to come after John. If Rodney hadn’t distracted the Wraith until help arrived…

That night had been the first time they’d gotten together.

Rodney was snapping his fingers again. “Did you zone out or what? Never mind.” He began to shed his own clothing, tossing it out into the room as though he couldn’t get out of his clothes fast enough. “The problem,” he said somewhat indistinctly, as his words were muffled during the process of pulling off his shirt, “is that I have this one chance to really, really make you feel good—better than you’ve ever felt with anyone before in your whole life. You know it, and I know it. You’re giving me one shot here, whether you’ll admit to that or not.” He stood up to pull off his pants, struggling to get his boxers and socks off without losing his balance.

John felt his face grow hot—it’s not as though he wanted to put any pressure on Rodney, but Rodney was probably right. He just wasn’t comfortable with lying back and being the sole focus of someone’s attention for very long. Sooner or later, his body demanded that he move. 

Rodney was naked now as well. He climbed back into bed and reached for the light blanket at their feet, pulling it up and over the two of them as he curled into John. Without really understanding why, John rolled over on his side to conform to the curve created by Rodney’s body.

Rodney snaked an arm under his and draped it across his abdomen. He snuggled in close behind John, so that John could feel the press of Rodney’s cock in the cleft of his ass. He felt himself unconsciously match his breathing to the rhythm of Rodney’s own, aware that he was relaxing and growing sleepy as Rodney’s body heat enveloped him. 

“Rodney?” he asked, when it became apparent that Rodney wasn’t going to move. 

“Shut up. We’re cuddling.” Rodney’s breath tickled the back of his neck.

“We’re _cuddling?_ ” John stiffened.

Rodney’s thumb move lazily across his skin, soothing him into submission when he would have moved. “Yes, cuddling. As in, I’m going to hold you in my arms. Because nothing I can do as a lover will be nearly as effective at letting you know how I feel than this.”

John couldn’t help it this time; he had to ask. “What about Jennifer?”

Rodney’s fingers tightened momentarily against John’s skin before they stilled. “Fair question,” he said at last. “You have to admit, she’s really hot.”

“You thought that Wraith on the Aurora was hot.”

“Well, she was!” Rodney was suddenly indignant. “Stop changing the subject. We’re talking about Jennifer here, and how I couldn’t help but be flattered that she seemed to return my interest.”

John said nothing about Rodney’s interest in the first place. To admit that it hurt was to admit that there was more to this thing between them than he was willing to do. Rodney, however, seemed to have heard his unspoken thoughts.

“So here I had this hot, young, smart woman interested in me—when the not-so-young but ridiculously hot Colonel of questionable intelligence—” Rodney yelped when John reached back and pinched him, “—seemed hell-bent on keeping me at arm’s length away.”

All idea of teasing Rodney further vanished as John grew very still.

“I knew he had his reasons.” Rodney’s lips were almost brushing his neck now, sending a delicious shiver down his spine. “I knew he had a city and a career to protect, and I didn’t begrudge him that, not in public. But in private? Yeah, well, I wasn’t sure about that. Oh sure, he’d risk his life to save mine, and he’d take power tools to my head to let the evil humors out…” Rodney tightened his arm around John when he would have turned to face him. “But, I mean, what are friends for? That wasn’t the same as knowing someone felt the same way about you as you did him. Especially since communications skills weren’t his strong point.”

Rodney moved his hand up until it rested on John’s chest. “I thought Jennifer was the best I could do. She was a pretty damn good best by most people’s standards. In my defense, I wasn’t the only one who made a mistake. Jennifer wanted the parasite-riddled version of me. The one that had the mental acuity of a five-year-old.” Rodney’s voice was suddenly bitter.

“I’m sorry,” John said simply. He brought his hand up to cover Rodney’s.

“Yes, well, you should be.” Rodney spread his fingers to let John’s entwine with his. 

There was a long pause, during which John grew progressively sleepier. “So, we’re cuddling instead of having sex.” He couldn’t help himself; he just had to push. “So, I’m guessing you’d call this a failure to launch on your part?”

“Oh, no.” Rodney had an amazingly evil chuckle at times. It occurred to John that some of those rumors of inventive Rodney retaliations were true, and decided he really didn’t want to be on Rodney’s short list. “The mission hasn’t been scrubbed—the directive has changed. What we’re looking at here now is the stealth blowjob.”

John snickered like a schoolboy. “A stealth blowjob? What the hell’s that?” He had a hard time picturing how anyone could sneak up on someone and blow him without his noticing.

“You never know when it’s going to come. It might be now, it might be tomorrow, it might be twenty years from now when I’m bald, and you’re gray.”

At some point, he was really going to have to tell Rodney he’d been lying about the no hair in the future bit.

Rodney, however, wasn’t done. “You’re going to want it so badly because you’ve been craving it from this very moment. You’re going to take me by the head and fuck my mouth because you want to, because nothing else will satisfy you except to come in my mouth.”

Suddenly very much awake, John rolled, twisting so he could pin Rodney’s hands to the bed, holding him down with the weight of his body as he breathed hard through his nose. His dick pushed up against Rodney’s thigh and he couldn’t help thrusting a little against him. Rodney’s eyes had flown open in startled surprise, but now he looked smugly superior.

It was a great look on him.

“Twenty years, huh?” John let his breath ghost over Rodney’s skin. “What if I don’t want to wait that long?”

Rodney grinned and opened his mouth wide.

~fin~


End file.
